I don't know what to think.

I wanna travel.

I don't want you knowing where I want to go. 

I don't know what to type. 

But I do want to go. 

I have the money to go. 

But I still need to make big bucks. 

How am I going to make big bucks. 

You know what's funny about being online?

I think famous people come around.

Looking back they looked at me like don't you know who I am. 

This happened all over Denver Colorado. 

I would be walking home and someone would stare at me. 

Im thinking who is this?

Im thinking should I take off and run even.

Months later I'm in my phone so much. 

I realize and have deja vu that those people driving by me staring at me were famous rappers. 

I don't know what to think. 

Rappers are scary. 

Anyways I wish I would know what to do. 

Do I just keeping studying and wondering who these rich people are. 

I mean this is wild. 

Thier are famous people all over the country. 

Do you even recognize them?

I mean I don't know what to think.

......................................................................... 

I talked to my dad earlier and we talked about growing old and why neither of us is married. 

He did get married once. 

I have a half sister. 

She's nice. 

We talked about. 

Feeling guilty about being raised in a Christian home and how we're Christian reformed and we should marry into the church. 

How we feel guitly if we work in Sundays and not treat it like a day of rest. 

Does this mean we were raised in the best way possible. 

Do we need to unlearn some stuff? 

I don't want to talk about it outside my blog. 

I went to a Christian school until seventh grade. I then left to go to a public school and play sports. I thought sports were more important than the Christian school. Anyways I got injured and left public school for homeschool my eleventh and twelvth grade. 

I cheated that idea. I don't even deserve a diploma. 

My Christian school background raised me way differently. 

Sure I got detention but I didn't do drugs. 

Did I drink. 

I might have drank a few times but not much. 

I know that's not OK. 

I got in trouble. 

I was on probation.

You can't drink and smoke anyways. 

But anyways the public school was way different. We lived to drink and smoke and party. 

My Christian school family didn't like me and told me they hated me. 

I loved to be a rascal and hang out. I love wrestling when I was in Christian school. 

When I went to public school I played football and basketball. 

I smashed into people. 

I loved football. 

Anyways the public school kids never will leave me alone. They want to hang out all day long and all night every day and every night driving around smoking blunts and drinking. 

These kids played sports as well. 

I don't know what to think. 

I only went to public school for three years. Eight, ninth, and tenth grade. 

I had girlfriends. 

I dissed woman off me all the time. 

I couldn't believe thier were so many girls. 

Anyways these guys never leave me alone and I don't know what to do with them. 

I just hang out. 

They want to hang out all the time. 

All the time. 

And those Christian School kids hated me, they said they hated me to my face. 

Anyways I thought I should note a few things. 

Guilt. 

Im in my phone or working in Sunday. 

Not OK. 

Skipping school and church. 

Not OK. 

I met a raw foodie not its like meat. 

Not OK. 

Do things like this bother you? 

Someone has to feel the same way. 

So the guilt problem. 

What do you think?