Some days I just feel so depressed.

Do you ever feel down and out and nothing seems to help? I hate depression and how it feels. Since I got in trouble I have had the chance to speak to different doctors trying to figure out what's going on in my mind and nothing seems to help. They have put me on numerous different drugs and nothing seems to help.

I have tried Zyprexa, Zoloft, Wellbutrin, and last but not least Prozac and I still just feel down and out and rundown. I don't know what it is.

I'm listening to a Preacher talk about depression and doing things anyway like getting up and reading your Bible anyway and reading it out loud. Some days I don't feel like reading, often at night I will turn on the Bible app and fall asleep to some guys reading the Bible. I don't know if it helps.

If you ever get depressed what did you do? You know what I would do. I would drink a cup of coffee with lots of cream and sugar and walk through Denver and smoke a few bowls of weed around corners and day dream about the different things I could do with money. After walking all day I would go to a class of Yoga and practice for an hour and a half. Then I would go home and get on some new shorts and head to the gym to run, life weights and play pickup basketball. This made me feel alright. I'd also get a black and mild and a large Sprite and try to dunk from the three point line. I would get so close but was not able to dunk from the three point line. I thought doing leg workouts and stretching would improve my ups, but the only thing that would work was using my strength shoes. My mom got them for me a long time ago for Christmas and I have not been using them enough.

In the Bible it says physical athletics profit little and Godliness profits all. I think that's what it says.  Dr. Jerimiah is in tv talking about depression. Worldwide 121million people suffer from depression. That's alot of people. He said America might be the saddest nation in the world. That's too bad.

There a basketball game tonight the Los Angeles Clippers take on the New Orleans Pelicans. Basketball keeps my mind busy and helps me to get lost in and zone out. March Madness starts next week and I don't think I will fill out a bracket.

I have a two hour class in Mindfulness tomorrow and that's always helps. I usually make a pot of coffee and day dream and study my mindfulness book. It helps a little. It's nice to get out of the house for a little while. They have fifty cent sodas at the soda machine in the town I have to go to study.

I don't know what to write about. I wonder if some of my friends back in the day in high school suffer from depression. I wonder how they deal with it and handle how they are feeling.

 There looks to be some good NBA basketball on again tomorrow. I will have to stay up and watch. I wonder why New York and other cities don't have better teams. You would think people would want to play there since they are mega cities to live in.