What should we do now.

I don't know really what to talk about and I am just trying to think some new ideas and figure out what to talk about.

I don't really feel like blogging. I know I need to read my Bible more to figure out where to go with my life. I wanna get stronger, I can think and think and never know what the best way forward.

We are eating in bit, we are having tuna sandwiches and I don't know how that will taste. What is there to talk about? One time a while back I tried to run to Sioux Falls from Sioux City, I got about sixty miles which took me three days and I stopped at a church and had my dad pick me up. I shouldn't have given up and I don't know what to say about it. I wish I would have toughed it out and seen how far I could go. I walked the fields of Iowa, there were shotgun shells everywhere on the way, old houses, old farm houses. It was kinda of Spooky. But I like to walk. I walked until night staring at the beautiful night sky and at night I would pull up some of the straw and make a bed under it. I can't believe I walked for so long and nothing changed. I wish I would have pushed myself further. There are some really Spooky houses in the dirt roads of Iowa. Somedays I just wanna walk and figure out whats going on with my mind. When I got thirsty I found some little streams and drank out of them.

I haven't had much energy lately and have been waking up in some sort of jarring motion and I dont know what to think about it. Maybe I just need to read more devotionals and see if that helps, I just don't know what to do on my phone. I have done some Facebook Live and streamed me playing basketball but I just suck and don't know what to think. I need to start running and getting back in shape and see how I feel and understand I can't just keep gaining weight. And while dribbling for twenty or thirty minutes and doing this five times a day might help me lose weight it's not enough.

I just turned on Stingray music channel and I'm listening to Alternative rock classics. I kinda want a smoke and don't know if I should. I don't want to stop blogging and see what happens. What if I could buy a million dollar home with a movie theatre and sit thier playing video games sipping some Grey goose. I wonder if I can make this my full time job. Wouldn't that be nice.

On Youtube I need a thousand subscribers to let me do YouTube Live and post my own videos. I have like forty songs on thier and not one subscriber, I don't k ow how that's going to work. Boy do I need some cash coming in.

Some famous You tubers are calling out UFC fighters and and doing boxing matches, I guess they are making pretty good money doing so. I don't k ow if I would ever try that and I don't know how that will go but it might be worth some pretty good money.

It rained this morning but I might go out for a walk since it stopped raining now. Not many places to walk to around here but some pretty cool looking fields and country atmosphere. I tried to walk the dog today but they wouldn't let me and now the dog just sits.

I don't really party anymore and I feel good not waking up in the morning with a hangover. It feels good to be off alcohol and other drugs. I don't know really what to think, I still get the urge to get high, but Lord willing I won't do it anymore. 

I don't know how long I will live in the Board n Lodge. But if they keep my room I wouldn't mind to take a vacation and come back to my own room and bed. But if I made enough blogging maybe I will leave for good. How much money do you think I will need to move out for good? There are some places for rent for twenty five hundred per month. With a hundred thousand dont you think it will take a good four years to run our od money. That's not very long.

I'm watching First 48 now on tv and I wonder if people get taken to jail for watching it. Some jails are pretty cool, Blue Devils Lake Jail in North Dakota was an OK jail, they had music playing all night and I had some money for commissary and it was OK. I like drinking a cup of coffee and talking to people. I wonder how I can get a couple thousand dollars in my commissary. We had soda, and coffee and candy. It wasn't too bad. They also served dinner from a local restaurant called J's and it wasn't too bad. They also had a room where we could sleep and watch time pass bye. It wasn't too bad. I did get in a fight with some guy after I thought he was insulting me all night. I didn't know what people problem was. I'm sick of people I insulting me and trying to did me. I don't know what peoples problem is......